Count 1 to 1000000

*wipes eyes* whew! Thanks, Mario for getting my morning off to such a fun start.

AD!!! 501, 502.
503

Oops.

504

you got carried away by the excitement and forgot to count ...

505

506 How to give your pet a pill

CATS:

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm, as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call partner from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees. Hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get partner to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get partner to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to partner's forearm and immediately remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot and drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Find heavy-duty pruning loves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get partner to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop at furniture shop on way home to pick out new table.

15. Arrange for Humane Society to collect mutant cat. Call local pet shop to see if they have hamsters.

DOGS:

1. Wrap pill in bacon.

507

Mario, that's too much. I'll be laughing all morning.




508 dogs are so easy

509

510

Go Dirk!

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/26/sports/basketball/with-another-late-rally-mavericks-move-to-nba-finals.html?_r=1&ref=basketball

511

512

The Morse Message (1962)


This radio message was transmitted from EPR (Evpatoria Planetary Radar) in 1962 and directed to planet Venus. The word "MIR" (Russian: Мир, it means both "peace" and "the universe") was transmitted from the EPR on November 19, 1962, :jodie: and the words "LENIN" (Russian: Ленин) and "SSSR" (Russian: СССР, acronym for the Soviet Union (Союз Советских Социалистических Республик)) on November 24, 1962, respectively. All three words were sent using the Morse code. In Russian, this letter is called Radio Message "MIR, LENIN, SSSR". This message is the first radio broadcast for extraterrestrial civilizations in the history of mankind, it was also used as a test for the radar station (but was not used for measuring the distance to Venus because for distance measurements the EPR uses coherent waveform with frequency manipulation): The signal reflected from surface of Venus and was received 4 minutes 32.7 seconds (Nov 19) and 4 minutes 44.7 seconds (Nov 24) later.

Now this radio message is flying to the star HD131336 in the Libra constellation (it is very interesting to note that the famous star Gliese 581, the addressee of A Message From Earth and Hello From Earth, is also located in the Libra).


http://www.google.ru/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&sqi=2&ved=0CBwQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FActive_SETI&ei=MNbjTe6BINDEswbUipnJCA&usg=AFQjCNE2FB34MsOt_iAMKYKUzgNk74oNww
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Morse_Message_(1962)

513 now that's very interesting!

514 As an hobby astronomer and JF fan I know that BTW Did I tell you I once contacted the guy who discovered the Jodie Foster asteriod?

What I didn't know was that MIR not only means peace but also universe. It's interesting you have one single word for these two things.

515

Such an important day Nov. 19, 1962 was in so many ways.

I need to start taking notes.

516

Mario wrote:514
What I didn't know was that MIR not only means peace but also universe. It's interesting you have one single word for these two things.

MIR -
1.world
2.peace
3.universe
4.kingdom
5.quiet
6.pax
7.quietude
8.system
and so on...

517

Thanks,Eugene

518.

The countdown has started....-13 days until i will be able to see The Beaver!!!! I think I will be among the last ones, but better late than never. Good things come to those who have got the patience to wait long.

519
I think I'll be the last who watch this movie

520. Really? So i am not the last one then. Well it helps, i feel much better now.. I hope its not too long though...

521

silverline wrote:520. i feel much better now..

because I'm the last?

522. Oh no please don't make that sad face. It breaks my heart.

I meant i feel better cos im not the only one...

Well, I still feel as if I haven't seen it enough, so even after both of you have seen it, I'll still feel miserable. *sigh*

523

524

525

526
Happy Caturday!